...*falls over*

If you had any idea how perfectly you just described a couple of *my* friends and how I've been feeling a lot lately, you'd have a kitten. The anger in this is...whoa. Powerful. The lyrics are bitter and I can completely understand how you feel...you did a very good job of putting into words the feeling that I can't describe very well...'bitter' doesn't really begin to cover it.

I love the poem...as strange as it is, it sounds really nice. I just hope that it's not about one of our friends really using drugs, because that would be bad. ^^; But if you're using the term 'drug' as a symbolicness for some other problem, then that's okay. XD Haha...just ignore my craziness. See ya later, Ash-chan. -huggles-

Oh my God Ash-chan, this is absolutely amazing! I think this is your best poem (well song) ever written! OMG, you must sing me the melody! I don't see anything wrong with it at all, it's just amazing! Don't think I'm flattering you either, this is so good! Wow, Ash-chan, wow! Hey, if this is written for Dante, I understand completely. He needs more help than anyone can offer. Still, Ash-chan, I feel dumb, this is better than anything I've ever written! I'm stupefied by this! Amazing, just amazing! Amazing, nay, Perfect job! Luv ya!Livin' in the SubZero,Tatianna Blusummers

I like this one. Im not very good at critiquing one's work, since Im not the poet in our group. -pokes, nudges- -points at Ash- Otherwise, I liked it a lot. I like how you mentioned drug usage in it... brings more attention to it. Maybe not attention, but... interest, I guess. Makes you want to keep reading. Good Job!

whoa! thats awesome! i loved this so much. an amazing first attempt at a song. write more.