Ooh. Coolies. It works both ways. Very nifty.

Really beautiful. I tried a poem with this kind of theme once, but it didn't turn out so well! P Very haunting, and I loved the last two lines. Well done, it's a great little peice.

from fawny

Weird, I just got hit with this weird sense of "you just answered your own question" sort of thing. So...I'm taking from it what I see there - do you see what I see?

On a technical level, very good. Very very good. Hope you're not offended by anything I say to you.

Hm. I'd say that was pretty good, short, but with so few words, I think the story was well written. Usually short stories aren't that good, but yours is. So good on you!