More descriptive than the first one, which is a good addition. Although there are some words repeated, the style fits and your diction fits perfectly.

Jenna xoxo

*falls on floor in awe* do you know how hard it is to find poets that actually write poems inspired by other classic POETS? I swear, no one on this site takes the time to read the old works and this... is just a beautiful picture painted. That's all I can say, wonderfully done.

Jenna xoxo

Good choice of words. Keep up the good writing! -winter

This is beautiful. Although I didn't exactly understand every single line, I realised that I /felt/ the poem instead. And I like that. (

¿What is it prevents,

Mind from setting motion to,

Duty's portion? —m—

Nicely done. I love how you used this in a comparison to Odysseus' voyage. It's wonderful, good job.