Kitty,

First off, this is a good start to what could be a great story. It just needs some polishing.

Nitpick: Coffee never "drizzles slowly" down your throat, especially when you're tense or nervous. It'd burn, taste bitter, get caught because you drank too much too fast. You know?

I wasn't that interested until the end when you started giving some of Gloria's background. Would moving that to the beginning--say, after her initial remarks to herself--make the reader more invested in her fate? I think so.

Happy writing!