Hafezie!*high five* Sup! :pNice...this sounds lyk Naruto...but that's not a critisism! But u shud post this on Fanfiction though...cos dis is a fiction by a fan of Naruto..so yeah...just a suggestion...newayz...UPDATE SOON! and keep it up my fren! im sry if i took a long time to review...so yeah...sry...but..can i bother u with reading more of mine and teling me wat i shud improve or do? Cos im havin writer's block here...=.=-Shadow Haven

Is this supposed to be loosely Naruto based? Cause as soon as I started reading it, that's what I thought. If it is, it should be at fanfiction.net, but anyways... Too short. Not enough detail. I know you could have to done better and I'm sure in future chapters you will as long and you work on descriptions and stuff. Good luck.