FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| persian eyes 2005-10-06 ch 1,  | abusethis is very impressive.i love your beautiful imagery, the play of words. the irony and the cold, harsh realities muted by pretty words. very disturbing, very invoking.*loveandstars.persian_eyes |
| cheeseworth 2005-03-24 ch 1, | abuseI like this one! Can't elaborate but I think it's one of your best. But the last two lines of the fourth stanza made me laugh though, for the wrong reasons, cause I thought you were going to say 'spread the snot around'. Haha sorry I feel dumb already. Good one. |
| wordsworth in a garbage can 2005-02-18 ch 1, | abuseO_O FANTASTIC. I'm sorry you're stressed. hope you're feeling better- but you produced such a masterpiece, wow, I wish I could put you on my favorites list. |
| KonekOniko 2005-02-14 ch 1, | abuse*hugs* don't worry, every 8th grader in cali is stressing with you! *salutes* I like it though, and don't worry, LIFE GOES ON! Hope to see more from you! |
| Chi Ame 2005-02-09 ch 1, | abuseAw... don't be stressed. You know what helps with that? Find a sledgehammer. Then impact it to anyone's head that futher stresses you! It's a tested theory, it works, trust me! lol, anyways, EXCELLENT poem, I wouldn't expect any less from you. =D I love your choice of words, so creative and unique, it's... a great poem! I'm sorry, I'm really bad at words when I'm not writing fiction or poetry, hehe. |
| clockwork Kiss 2005-02-08 ch 1, | abuseKismet, I love it. The first stanza rocks muchly. You really capture a hippie-ish, trippy feel here. Only thing was that the repetition of 'gone' seemed a little anti-flow. Dunno. I don't have suggestions or anything, but as far as constructive criticism, that's the only little bit I found. Like the spreading theme, and then the 'butter knife" (Don't be stressed!) |
| Made in U.S.A. 2005-02-02 ch 1, | abuseI adore it! Keep writing :D |
| Manuel Fajar 2005-01-30 ch 1, | abuseFairy dust bright fell, Sparkling butterfly ointment,— ¿Can moon forget Sun? |
| Aimee Raven 2005-01-29 ch 1, | abuseWhoa...what a poem! This is so original...your imagery and your vocabulary are fantastic! It's so...ethereal, and so sad! Brilliant work! Love, Mia |
| reicheru* 2005-01-24 ch 1, anon. | abusehahass. i like fungi cloud. even though it sounds.. weird. andand the lines "get your silver gilded butter knife/ and spread my blessings". hahass. ive eaten so much buttery stuff i feel fatt. see. nice rei gave you so many reviews liao. and dont be stressed larh. smile and be hyper! thats what sitting next to angeline does to you. wahaha. lovee reicheru. |
| AntiPleasure 2005-01-24 ch 1, | abusethe cornflower gun says it all lol I have a poem similar to this one about the counterculture (funny enough it's called that) but it's no way near as well written as this is. (agh, I'm crap at reviews...)I like the dramatic twist and change at the end. Beautifully written. Jenna xoxo |
| Cyssel 2005-01-24 ch 1, | abusenice poem, for the lack of better compliment. I like the way you've phrased everything. It... flowed. =) Adequate choice of words to make it a pretty work of art. -winter |
| Ohmm 2005-01-24 ch 1, | abuseYou made cliched lines uncliched with your magic touch, and with poems like this, no one will ever forget you (whether or not you may be gone). You go, GIRL. |
| linaeve 2005-01-23 ch 1, | abuse"clutching each other in this atomic shroud/ of fungi cloud" nice play on words there, & lovely diction. thank you for the non-cliched angst.hope life loosens up for you, kismet! -lin |
| Kakyou Takashiro 2005-01-23 ch 1, | abuseperfection, simple perfection. |