i think this worked very well for you. i like it. its flows and it has a nice tone to it. doesnt repeat itself and it just, is... um whats the word... im not too sure. but its that *points at the unknown word she cant find in her head* yeah! ;) srry im so strange, im in a reviewy mood today and thought id try to catch up on everyone who was ever kind enough to review me. and you be one of them! sorry i took so long! anyways, enough rambling, nice poem :D

Imagery is beautiful in this, really adds to this peice and brings out so much to it. Lovely, lovely, lovely work!

!~* noelle *~!

this was beautiful! such imagery!!

I like the description. It has many, many that I so like, especially the smooth silky feeling about it. You must be thinking I'm nuts, but I'm not. In fact this is one of my favorites :D

Great use of sibilants, makes the poem easy to read through - I like how you've managed to keep the same soft S sound all the way through, nice x weasel within x

not your best, but way better than most of mine.. teh word choices are amazing.. and beautiful descriptions

A silent dawn revealsA shimmering splendour of goldWe arise for Sabbath

and...

We stand on the streetsSurrendering sweetened kissesUntil a scarlet dusk appears

and...

We stroll on the stone pavement.Dance of the intertwined shadows.Shyness thrown off; serenity settles

I think they are the best verses of the poem. Nie. Keep writing these, and you'll slowly get better at them.