FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| bella natty 2005-09-26 ch 1,  | abuseI don't know what to say...really good...? yeah |
| Lellida 2005-07-22 ch 1, | abuseThis poem is cool- I love pieces that have a twisted nursery rhyme them. The way you describe insanity is awesome- I can picture her in my mind beautifully. The rhymes at the end of the lines aren't awkward, and really add to the innocence of the poem. |
| l057 1n51d3 2005-04-17 ch 1, | abusei can only say one word. beautiful. t.s. |
| DaDel Amor 2005-02-26 ch 1, | abuseThat was loaded. That's the only way I can explain it. It was a great poem though! Thanks for reviewing mine. I wrote it one night when I was real tired. The ending is kind of quirky, but I like it. |
| Mistress Jakira 2005-02-17 ch 1, | abuseHehehe nice! That's a great take on the subject. It's got a humorous twist and a unique perspective all in one, along with clever allusions to the Bible and "Hickory Dickory Dock" that mesh into the body of the poem as smoothly as butter on bread. I loved"Insanity on the seventh day takes a rest"--I thought that was the most clever part of it, as far as individual lines. And as for me, I think the rhyming is done just perfectly. It doesn't feel like a song--in fact, I sometimes forget that it does rhyme--but instead you used unconventional and sometimes difficult-to-rhyme words to fit your piece. That is truly commendable in itself. ^_^ I think I'll add you to my favorite authors list; I love your work! Keep writing! ~MJ |
| CW-nerd-12 2005-02-06 ch 1, | abuseHm, good poem, but it could use some work. Break the poem up into stanzas, and work on the rhyming (it starts out good, but ends up kind of sing-songy, but I'm not a huge fan of rhyme in general, so you never know). Put in some more strong and unusual images, do a bit more showing of her descent into insanity, instead of just telling us about it. This could be excellent! |
| kt in the sky 2005-02-03 ch 1, | abusewow this is really good. sort of creepy but i love it. as for your poem, i'm sorry i didnt know what a nigger was til i asked. i agree with you. please forgive me! anyway great poem keep up the good work. -kashe |
| Thea 2005-01-25 ch 1, anon. | abuseWow! that is really good. it is a really cool idea, and the rhyming is good too. Well done! |
| pandagirl11 2005-01-24 ch 1, | abuseOoh...I love the way you incorporated such a popular poem into yours. Good job! If you have time, check out "The Search" and R&R! =) |