“… watered the lilies with his tears.”

Well, that sounded a bit cliché to me . . . But unless that was in the poem, you might consider changing it. But, y’know, when people tell me this sort of thing, I just go “Rarh, rarh, whadda they know.” XD But, I thought I’d point it out.

Good. The imagery in this piece was wonderful, and I could “see” the garden in my mind. The ending slowed down to bring the story to a full and complete stop. Some authors just run right over the ending, without considering it much. I think that the ending of the story is pretty much the most important part, and it deserves to have a lot of emphasis put on it. But enough of my ramblings.

I didn’t really like how the lady was trying to tell him something, but he never really got it, but I doubt that’s your fault. That was probably how the poem was, right? Besides, I’m not really here to tell you if I liked it or not; I’m here to talk about the way it was written. And, it was written beautifully. Again, the imagery was marvelous; I think I could learn a thing or two from you.

Good job! Keep it up.

*Heart*Moroni of the Mount of Ro

Wow... This is amazing writing. It's very poetic and descriptive, and I wish I had your talent.