This is really good. I look forward to the next chapter.

-UG88-

Truly spectacular. I like how it jumps between the kids. Oh and how extremely real they all feel, like they are people you could know. Hurry and Update.

review on the whole thing...vastly improved. yay^^I can really picture each character. good job fleshing them out & making very cinematic transitions between each one.

found some typos, if you have time, you might want to go back through and look for them (i.e. "here" when it should've been "her"; "principle" vs. "principal"). also take a look at punctuation in dialogue throughout.

all in all, nice work. looking forward to reading more^^

this is really interesting so far. Sometimes it's hard to keep track of the characters though...

wow...good job, Anna! So descriptive and unlike the stories that I've read. I like your style, and keep working on it! When will you update?

You switch tenses a lot. Is that intentional?

Your style is interesting. Very staccato, stop-start. I like how you transitioned between each person, made a connection between them. Also like the description of the goth girl (if she's not goth, well, she certainly sounds like it!)

I LOVE THIS! I LOVE ALL UR POEMS AND EVERYTHING! bye anna :)