FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| FantasizedMusic 2005-08-05 ch 1,  | abuseFirst of all, obviously, this needs to be expanded to really give a good effect. However, your play-writing ability is pretty good, from what I can see in this short 11-line segment. (Which, is saying a lot, since play-writing is IMPOSSIBLE for me and for most regular human beings.) There's one gem to mention: "No, the birds. If I have any more control over my own army than over the birds, then they will return immediately." This line is just WHOA... one of those lines you wish you could just reproduce its power in different ways about a million times for all your writing. I would actually not have that said sarcastically, since the line is so powerful in its own artistic way. Another great thought you've penned for me to read. |
| Getuie 2005-03-11 ch 1, | abuse*after some thought* I honestly don't know what to make of it. I mean, it's good. Absolutely. But I don't know how I feel towards the king. He poses some interesting and valid arguments... And yet on the other hand, a king should not have his people fight for him, but with him. why isn't he were his armies are? Yeah... I don't know. |
| Teperehmi 2005-02-03 ch 1, | abuseThat wasn't too bad. You may want to expand it into a full-length play. Nice work! |
| chochang913 2005-02-01 ch 1, | abuseAmusing ^_^. This 'king' reminds me of my little sister: spoiled rotten and not the brightest crayon in the box ^_~. I could definitely see this evolving into a novel (don't ask me what about though, cause quite frankly I'm horrid at longer stories!). Well written, in any case, nice characterization! *huggles* You're much too kind in reviewing!! And thank you so much for the mention on your page, *sniffles* it brings a tear to my eye ^_^. chochang913 |
| Tender Sugar 2005-01-29 ch 1, | abuseVery powerful for a short piece and great depth. |
| Ferrin 2005-01-28 ch 1, | abusevery good for such a short piece. Displays a deeper meaning than what it portrays on the exterior of the literature. Well done, and keep up the good work. |