wow that ending hit me like a brick. Amazing. Breath-taking imagery all throughout the piece. Great allusion to Eden. Amazing - onto my faves it goeth.

Nice imagery/description.

Hm, doesn't read as if there were gaps, i think it's fine. You're an excellent poet, i love the rythm and feel of your work, i'll definitely have to read more of it. That ending... it's so sad... but the poem is great.

Oh, so wicked of an ending, I could just eat this up on so many levels...well done, a master of deception you create with the first stanzas and release the true identity in the end like a true vagabond. Truly artistic in your weave of lines.

i like it... nice descriptions & imagery

I do like it, it's a bit shorter and a slight more blunt than the poems I am used to, but it's little 'gaps' work and give it some tension. Very sweet.

Dolly

erm...I dont get it?

Wow...beautifully written.

Hey Smile Persephone, haven't heard from you in a while. To your AN thingy I want to tell you that no poem can be perfect according to the time it takes, I've been writing a poem for over 2 years and another one in english for over 4 months and still I don't think that what I have written is complete!I like the scene and the imagery though!

Wow, that's very well put together!