Wow, the concept of this story reminds me of one of Ray Bradbury's stories. I forgot the exact title--maybe "The House" or something--but I just remember that it was from October Country. It was great.

I think you kind of overdid the personification in the third paragraph, though I see what you were trying to do. And the way you personify the sunflower reminds me of the Greek myth with the girl who loves Apollo and becomes a sunflower who watches him as he travels across the sky (I think). Even if you weren't intending that, it's a nice touch :)

In some places, the present tense fits, while in others, it seems jarring. I can't really pinpoint what makes it awkward, though.

I really like the twist with cutting the sunflower--I actually didn't see that coming. I really like how you truly made the sunflower come alive, and I identified with Jake's struggle. The last line could have had more impact like this, though:

Instead of "My sunflower is dying, and by nightfall it is dead."

have

"My sunflower is dying.

By nightfall, it is dead."

In any case, I like this story :) I'm not sure if it'd be better if you increased the amount of backstory or not, though I do think that the last section could be improved a bit--maybe some more detail. But overall, great story :)

- hl

Another great read! You have a good hand at literature, I'll tell you that. So sad about the sunflower, and I guess Jake's mother was a prostitute and of course he's the "mistake". Reall heart-wrenching stuff.