Wow. that was very good. i almost wanted to cry, the writing was very descriptive of the feeling. Good job :D

it must have been a very bad experience :( im sorry for whatever happened... :(

wow... exquisit rhyming. (one thing i'll point out, you spelled choked wrong... it's as i said. I pointed it out, because i'd want you to do the same. It just simply lessens the greatness of you'r spectacular writing)

You did a wonderful job portraying strength and open emotion as the same entity: "My heart is weeping but you'll never see a tear." The repetition of leave me adds to the can-suffer-no-more tone of your poem.

I'm sorry it took me so long to read and review your poem. It's a very feeling poem, though it seems as if the stanzas are arranged in the wrong order? Should the first one be the penultimate instead? It will strengthen the ending, I think. And stanzas three and four seem to contradict one another, which, to me, disperses the effect you're trying to build? Maybe merge them together, or choose one that communicates feeling equivalent to both. The use of 'death's fate' sounds too ordinary for the profound emotion in this poem as well... Cheer up.

In all of your poems I have noticed a good solid balance of meaning and descriptions. You have a very good groundwork for becoming a great poet. You don't stray from the theme of the poem, your poems aren't filled with long descriptive words that don't tie in at all. Overall, you are a very strong beginning poet and I commend you on your work. My best advice for you would be this: never be afraid to experiment; go outside your comfort zone; try different styles; challenge yourself; and know that when you are being honest with yourself you and you alone are the best person to critique your work. Also don't be afraid to go to teachers or other poets and ask them for suggestions.

very nice. the rhythm is sort of off in some places but that's okay because it still sounds really good and you manage to convey your feelings quite nicely. good job and thank you for your review. :)

yeah, we can all relate.

Amazing.

Too true. You hit the nail on the head.

I really like this poem and I can totally relate. Nice ryme scheem to . . . I can never seem to work one out for my own stuf . . . v.v

first this was terrific! really liked it, it's going on my favorites (if i have any room). and thanks for reviewing. it means a LOT.

~leila*

I like the repetition. It gives it a more powerful flow.

Thanks for the review ^_^

that's sad, but good

Aw...that was so touching. A real heartbreaker. Awesome poem