 Antithesis 2005-02-07 . chapter 6You have a -very- interesting concept here. While I understand what's happening, there could be a little more description at the beginning or when Niko enters a new place; it helps to set the mood and let the reader visualize the environment. Also, as you mentioned in your profile, there are a lot of spelling errors. Try using a spell checker of some kind, and if you need someone to beta-read, drop me an e-mail. Seriously. |