Here's some Food For Thought:

It's alright, I guess. The strength of this tale seems to be in its detail as with most fantasy stories on the site. UNLIKE most other fantasy stories, however, the AMOUNT of detail seems very controlled. You don't smother the reader instead, you give them just enough to savor the situation (which is very difficult to accomplish, by the way). This is too short for me to critique regularly so ...consider yourself lucky.

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