Hm. Interesting piece you have here. You have some powerful devices, creative diction, and really good ideas in this. However, the fourth stanza seems to fall a little short.

The first stansa is excellent, the rhyme playing off some good ideas, the "warm façade" line ending the stanza with a powerful image that fits nicely into the poem as a whole.

It seems like you have a lot of potential in this work, and a lot of it shines through. A few small things seem to limit the piece as a whole. The fourth stanza seems to have diction with a plastic feel to it. The heart smashing into a thousand pieces, being glued together again, and the words "scar remover" in particular stood out as just not quite fitting.

Now by no means am I trying to insult your work here, you have some very nice ideas in this piece! My favorite lines from this piece were "Bought your words for 99 cents at the dollar store / Pasted them on your pre-made valentine / Because you knew I hated hallmark cards" These words seemed to have danced back from the edge of cliche and brought back something wonderful. They both impart a more profound meaning and do it in a way that is very clever.

So all in all, I'd have to say that what I see here is a mix of creativity and factors limiting that creativity.

My personal advice as a fellow artist would be to continue writing. Seek your own poetic voice, keep experimenting with styles and ways of writing poems. If there's one important lesson I've learned is that no matter where we are as artists, there's always more we can do, more we can draw out of ourselves.

You have potential, I would say, so keep on trying to bring that potential out. Remember to love the art! And enjoy yourself :)

I hope this was helpful ^_^ ()

This is one of those writing pieces which takes my breath away.

"You decorated hell and made it more like home
Before you shoved me in and locked the door"

and

"You picked my shredded heart up off the street
Smashed into a thousand pieces by some truck
Glued it all right back together, bought me scar remover"

Absolutely stunning.

"Bought your words for 99 cents at the dollar store
Pasted them on your pre-made valentine
Because you knew I hated hallmark cards"

That brought a laugh out of me; I thought that remark was extremely amusing :) Very nicely written. Very original and descriptive. I enjoyed it immensely.

I'm in love with this work. You decorated hell and made it more like homeBefore you shoved me in and locked the door< beautiful.

omg yeah I agree this is one of your best.

that was very deep, made me think for a while afterwards...