FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| Atelophobia 2006-04-30 ch 1,   | This is just amazing. 14 syllables and you convey so much, writers like me spend hours trying to put in the same tone & message and you do it so well with such a short poem. |
| flights.of.fantasy 2006-02-10 ch 1, | the message is conveyed in so little words. something disturbing about this.. but i like it. |
| Renss 2006-01-18 ch 1, | I don't really have anything more useful to say than anyone else who reviewed--just a great piece. |
| Katterree Fengari 2005-12-24 ch 1, | woah, that all happened so fast?I like the "whispers start to unfurl" |
| Jezsh 2005-12-23 ch 1, | like whispers in the mind. The use of words are lovely...and the understated rhyme...like tragic laughter. I think this is great. |
| Rozlin 2005-11-02 ch 1, | intruiging... it makes me want more |
| Angabel 2005-11-01 ch 1, | I like the last line a lot. This says a lot about society. I feel sympathetic for the girl, I want to say that she's not "dirty" or a "**" or even a "**", because there's something sinister going on here that I can't quite put my finger on. Have you tried getting this published? Or creating other haikus exploring this and similar issues? You could have a whole little book of haikus addressing such issues, sort of renewing the haiku form. Excellent work. |
| CarnelianDesire 2005-10-15 ch 1, | D: So true.You make it sound beautiful. :D |
| Moonjava 2005-08-23 ch 1, | Wow, that is amazing. So powerful and angry in such few words. |
| poetic abortion 2005-08-23 ch 1, | such a raw and powerful haiku, this amazes me! how many writers (including me) spend hours, pages trying to convey this and you do it so simply. love it, wonderous little gem. ~* noelle |
| Pont 2005-08-08 ch 1, | Whoa... that one has me reeling. Nicely done haiku. So much meaning in those few words. Keep it up!~Ponteh |
| in theory 2005-07-22 ch 1, | Wow, raw feeling in 14 words..that's something you don't see every day. Really cool. |
| Nobody-n-Particular 2005-07-13 ch 1, | Powerful, and saddening. |
| Brion Wolf 2005-07-06 ch 1, | short and to the point makes for a very powerful piece. good work, keep writting |
| not sure yet 2005-06-12 ch 1, | heh hehe i dont know quite a strong statement, just made me react weirdly nicely done |