This story has more twists than a labyrinth, and as always, I love it.

:D CD

Ooh, race relations. That could make things messy. I like that you've thrown that into the mix, as well; it adds some more complexity to this, and I look forward to seeing what you do with it.

"the quest for those with gifts to have the death threat hanging over them to be lifted" - This sentence was a little confusing. Maybe try rewording it?

-Othello, from the Review Marathon (*points to link on profile*)

I like that you add Darick's discomfort about the prophecy (or whatever it is), because I've found that people don't usually look at that angle when writing about prophecies. It makes him more realistic, I think, because he doesn't just accept it.

One thing: "Finding that out...and the only real parents I had ever had." - This sentence was problematic because it rambled on for quite awhile, making it really hard to follow. I'd suggest breaking it up a little.

I love all of the understatements in this chapter, because they definitely add a humor element to this. I also like how vague this is, because it makes it more interesting, and we have to read more to figure out what on earth is going on.

-Othello, from the Review Marathon (See the link on my profile for details.)

Excellent. You always think about the little bits of information that are critical to realistic stories.

=D CD

:) updates since i've read this :)

Ah, the long - anticipated chapters of YoC 3! Aren't they currently doing something with/for the president, too? What other tests do the doctors have to do on Andy? Isn't he done?

aww... Mal finally lets it go, and I like this chapter.

:) CD

*mock-raised eyebrows* Very forward, isn't she? So what about the war? There hasn't been any of that in quite a bit. And no offence, but do you notice you tend to write in more of a play format? Where the dialogue is the most important part of the script, and the most prevalent? The parts that are not dialogue are descriptions and those seem to emerge in bursts. Most works in book (?) format usually contain a lot more of,...other stuff. You do include the gestures and movements, but those also seem...bland. As though they are secondary. They don't usually have adjectives, and stuff. Again, no offence. It just suddenly hit me why your writing style was so distinctive, and I wondered if you realised.

AWW!! They're so sweet together.

:) CD

Yellow Turmoils? Interesting title.

Poor Mara. Poor Andy, though at least now he gets to fly.

I... I don't understand. But whatever it is, it's so terrible that Mara can't bear to repeat it. -hug to Mara-

:) CD

Well, the title isn't THAT bad...So tapping into another dimension? Cool. What exactly is Mara speaking of? Is it something in the chapters, or is it meant for suspense? The school is going to get a shock. hehehehe. Floating like a ghost, the new fad! heheheh

Aww, poor Andy! Please update soon! I want to see what will happen!

Mya;

I really hope that there is a book four or that you are finishing this soon. I really think that you should revisit this series and find a good editor that can help you decide what to cut out and what to rewrite. I would also rename the books something like The Colors Of Chaos: Book one; Blue Fear...Book Two Orange Crush Book Three Red Dawn... You get the picture. Also please let me know where I can read the conclusion!

Good Luck,

MsChief

Mya;

Am I missing something? Book two ended with Lahhia coming to Art and Darick's school and book three begins with the death of May?

Any way I read a lot (read constantly) and I do think that your characters are very well developed. I also do some copy editing for my college newspaper. You have one syntax error that shows up in all of your writing. You use the word of in place of the word have.

Other than that the stories are usually very well written. I did have some problems in later book one and in book two deciding who's point of view the story was being told from. I am anxiously awaiting more chapters from If Dragons Were Real. Thanks for taking the time to read posts from readers.

MsChief