"If/ She dallies in this room, she will remain/ Forever"

The word 'dallies' just doens't fit with the rest of the poem/ story. It's too much of a flowery word. The struggle and the imagery are amazing in this. I liked it.

All the words are so soft... lush... wow. This reminds me of Anne Rice's writing. Absolutely beautiful.

haunting~you create beuatiful images. Nicely written!

M. Makes me think of Cass and Adrian. Is that who this is about, Cass? It has a dark crimson feel to it, filled with soft consonants like velvet and shadow. ~Sayrah~

That has to be the most Beautiful piece of language use I have ever read, I am awestruck, speachless for someone who usually writes a small essay for a review.

Nine Iron

wow. intense drama. and such a beautiful story, made beautiful because of the style you wrote it in. i - love - it. wonderful. tragic, too, the way it's written. but it really gave me something to think about.

~k8

Wow... I think this has got to be, no.. this IS the best poem I have ever read.. perhaps ANYWHERE... awesome, amazing job.