Your exposition is good, but the story is flawed by its presentation. Intentional or not, it seems as if you are trying to demonize soldiers for all the pain that war causes, and the pain and hurt of the central character is just a device to get this political agenda across. This creates a strong impression of emotional manipulation. Perhaps you should try something more character oriented, or explore the topic from a less slanted point of view.

Wow. That was awesome. The descriptions you use are very nice to pull the whole thing together. btw, thanks for the reveiw on my poetry. Keep writing.

wow. that makes me want to cry! you wrote it so well, i can really feel the story and now i'm sad :(

wow, that was depressing. great story. i wanted to cry. I can believe that the pain you portrayed is running rampant through the world. good work