This first chapter seemed a little hastily written. There were many grammatical errors that would, undoubtedly, have been caught with more scrutinous proof-reading. The dialogue was interesting at its heart, but I had trouble getting a feel for the character's separate personalities. Okay, apart from that, I thought the bird familiars was a great story element, and the hawk turning into a lightsaber was certainly unique. I also like how you chose the bird species to match the personalities of the characters. I guess my overall opinion is, bravo for an excellent concept, but you need to keep writing and get practice to really develope your skills.