hey this is GOOD. i like this poem. It's very.. real. yeah, that's the word. realistic and questions and points at the obvious things in life that most people wont question. It's a great job done.

chrys

Good-good.

*sighs* this is really good. The moth and the flame analogy is common, but still good, and full of meaning. You used it well.

I could not find any other poems I hadn't read before, so I figured I'd just review this one.

I think you deserve an apology. When I mentioned the rhythm and meter in that one poem a while back, I had just really started reading poetry in earnest (though I'd learned all the technical knowledge of it a long time ago). All I'd read really was work by the finest. Like Longfellow, O'Henry, Poe, and all those others. Since then I've read a ton of works on this site, as well as much published poetry, and I would like to rescind what I said before, because I now think your writing is really very good, and certainly far above average.

Keep writing, I'll keep reviewing (and I'll try not to be such an ** when I do in the future).

As I've said many times in reviews, I really don't get poetry. Pretty much, I think something's good if it flows well and has some eye catching lines. Both of these elements you had in your piece. The damage to both of the people involved in the pain of a broken relationship was the interesting part for me. Nicely done.

You're only fourteen? Well, I think as you get older you're going to get all the better. Keep writing and perfecting! -Micah

i'm too lazy to log in. but omg mia this is amazing. absolutely. this has to be my fav. by far! i love it! i've only started posting again... cheers!

wow...that was just awesome...

beautiful.. especially the ending

*puts this on favs lists.* I loved this. The ending was just left me staring. I couldn't believ you ended it that way. Beautiful work as allways. I love this. The emotion really hit me *HARD*. I couldn't help but hear an angered voice reading this , but had a tinge of betrayl. Beautiful poem and awesome job. Keep it up!!

!~* Noelle *~!

Who is the flame, who is the moth...I really like this phrase. Different from the usually visually descriptive poems, but it's more introspective and baring. It's the the mingling of your pride "For you I won't spare a single tear" and yet a pleading for attention or an answer from someone "Tell me whether you want me to leap".

*thumbs up*

Izzy J.

The feeling is recognisable, nice work!

Powerful and passionate, I love the meaning and metaphore of it.Keep up the good work.

Much love,Juliet.