Reviews for Counter Clockwise

Reviews For: Counter Clockwise

sporkofdoom 2006-11-20 ch 4,	abuseThis is so amazing, especially the first chapter. So beautiful. Almost intoxicating. As usual, I fail to do it justice.
beti213 2006-02-01 ch 1,	abuse"She runs so that her footsteps are the only sounds in the area" the word 'area' almost seems too cheap in this context"The slithering pools watch the strange men with the tanned arms build mansions for the corpses not even they will house" that's really awkward. extremely awkward."Her grandmother is a racist. Louisiana was a very beautiful state." the bit about the funeral dress and then this... just stating truth. like it's nothing. I love the technique."strangled by human morality as the plantations and ball-gowns and plated braids unravel." *plaited braids"Scars are her favorite possessions to carry." more of this intriguing bluntness. so amazing."how chewy her tendons will be from all the running away she is doing" huh. so all of us will be harder to eat.oh ok. that's the tree-horses I was missing. maybe I should read chapters in order next time :)"She will never believe that her hair is gray until the day she dies." wow. you have a talent for brilliant one-line endings...ok. I'm going to read the second and third chapters later. looking forward to it.
beti213 2006-02-01 ch 4,	abuse"She is intrigued by the chance that he might have built something rather than demolished it." wow. I would be the one intrigued."It is not that she wants to hurt him, but she wants to un-build him, to see the lovely clockwork that makes him tick." sounds totally reasonable but at the same time, instinctually repulsive. what a girl she is..."She pets her tree-horse pensively, plug-dreams dancing through a mind that may or may not be awake." I don't understand that. at all."dry whispers of tension snapping beneath its skin." great description. perfect. I love those last lines... so true. bravo!
Aslan Israel 2006-01-31 ch 4,	abuseWow. Well that's one thing to hit you at 5 in the morning... I really love how sparse the dialogue is, but how powerfully it impacts the entire peice. Brilliant, as ever.
not sure yet 2005-10-30 ch 3,	abusethis is oddly romantic and unrealistic yet rudely real in some respects, the effect in part due to your writing style which im really digging here, it catches you in and makes the whole world youve created seem so rain wet - in the sense of the clean, clear, surreal sort of mood if you get what i mean, anywayz, muchly excellent story here thus far, beautifully done
not sure yet 2005-10-30 ch 2,	abuseyou have such interesting characters and you create them so eloquently, muchly love this thus far, it's odd how this sort of started completely out of reality then sort of jumped into it, i like that effect a whole lot, awesome stuff
not sure yet 2005-10-30 ch 1,	abuseso strange and surreal, but i love it, your way of describing is beautiful, i love the paragraph that starts with mommy never used to cook, they whole of it thus far is very poetical, muchly excellent
dollface and her cancer 2005-09-02 ch 1,	abuseNearly a ghost story of life. The girl's gradual slide from life to death, from youth to decay, and her fascination between, is an artfully crafted yet morbid image. The language, and story, is charmingly chilling.
Aslan Israel 2005-07-21 ch 2,	abuseShe took no pride in her faults, no breathless adrenaline rush from knowing that she was fragile and escaping death simply by breathing. Love that line. And the end. Perfect. I can't wait for more.
poetic abortion 2005-02-23 ch 1,	abuseWow...I'm really amazed by this. Some really painful moments in this. The sentences really showed both pain and other emotions. Really great. :) Keep up the good work!! adds you to AuthorAlert !~* Noelle *~!
blk 2005-02-17 ch 1,	abusewhen your sentences run on, the imagery or meaning you try to produce becomes watered down. its very hard to construct a run on sentence which conveys strong meaning (henry james was good at this). any technique, when overused, becomes a gimmick. gimmicky writing is bad. i feel like your use of long sentences and hyper qualification (i.e. Her hair was shiny and thick, but her skin always cracked like a tiny map of the world, and in a way it was, for the cells that thrived within her had grown a tiny metropolis that hummed and whirred as they careened through its systems down a subway tunnel of blood.) is a bit overused in the context of this story. i would suggest trying to put more energy into your sentences by making them shorter. its better to be spare than to be overdescriptive. (when i talk about spare vs. overdescriptive im refferring to the use of adjectives and adverbs and moving away from the feeling the need to qualify the observations you make.) you obviously have a certain amount of talent for writing and i hope you continue to work at it. i think you should concentrate on grabbing the reader by the head from the first sentence and keeping that grip throughout the whole story.
Aslan Israel 2005-02-16 ch 1,	abuseI'm in awe. This is perfect. The imagery is flawless. The only grammer problems I think you have is in the 5th paragraph, the last sentance you repeat 'near' twice. Other than that, everything is brilliant. I can really relate to the girl for some reason. Especially with the last line. again, great job.

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