Reviews for Hollow Attempts - FictionPress.com

Reviews For: Hollow Attempts - Reviews: Page 1 of 2

chibibble 2008-05-03 ch 1,	abuseThis touched me because I really felt it: 'instead of two pills four slid down his throat and he freaks like he didn't do it to himself.' God, it's beautiful, and you knew when to finish it...instead of dragging it out and killing it because you thought it wasn't long enough. The repetition of the 'and he freaks like he didn't do it himself' was a good thing, and I'm glad that you did it. The layout was great too; the disjointedness of it all, as if the persona is standing back and looking at it from a distance. Last sentence was a killer: 'my brother isn't moving', and even though we saw it coming, it was...it was...amazing. :D I think you should try to write a fight scene, because I think you'd be great at the anticipation and the pain. ...however sadistic that sounds... loveyou!
just.because.lemonade.stand 2008-03-09 ch 1,	abusewow. thats so sad, but amazing. i didnt understand the last line for a minutes, but then i got it. nice job!
Lovedward48 2008-02-24 ch 1, anon.	abuseOk? Poor Brother...smirk
Lady E 2007-01-21 ch 1,	abuseHorrifying. Mostly,I think, because it reflects the passivity many people really do feel, on both sides of the spectrum.
raelia 2006-04-14 ch 1, anon.	abusemorbid, and a little creepy.
bittersweet suicide 2006-01-22 ch 1,	abuseWhoa. that's all I have to say. very nice
pneumothorax 2005-09-04 ch 1,	abuseWonderful last line. I really like this poem and it seems somehow very unique. Initially as if you're just watching ad have no real connection with the subject, but the last line's a stunner. Pulls you bang into the scene personally.
MISSled 2005-02-26 ch 1,	abuseO.O wow...it's so ..iono...like it made my heart like...iono...wrench? and i almost cried, but like you only used so little words!! shakes head you're so good. TT
DustyInvasion 2005-02-23 ch 1,	abuseI’d give you my opinion of this poem, I’d tell you about how the simple words wrench my own heart, spreading guilt, only to let it take root deep within. I’d tell you how the words brought on a sense of the reality of our youth, the way they’ve grown accustomed to the once deviant actions that now occur daily. How it is almost expected of the youth to lead lives that once only belonged to the old and life-weary. I’d tell you how once again you’ve captured the essence of something that spreads throughout the world like a disease that will not release its hold. How some days I find it too hard to care for those I claim to love, and try to block out their pleas and cries of attention. But for now I have no more words, I find this hits too close to home. ~DI
Lanku 2005-02-19 ch 1,	abuseOh, I like this poem. So sad...
Inu-ChuChu 2005-02-16 ch 1,	abuseOohh... freaky... but KEWL! Great job! Very... deep I guess.
scelerus animus 2005-02-15 ch 1,	abuseWowies... a very thought-provoking poem, no? Excellent work. ^_^
melanie2189 2005-02-15 ch 1, anon.	abusethats really quite a touching a poem for me, its really personal to me because i overdosed about a year ago, i took 28 ferus sulfate pills (thats an iron suppliment). i was in the hospital for a week and the doctor says i'll have liver problems for the rest of my life and it may kill me when i hit 30, but wut can i say? i lead a hard life. thank u for writing such a short, simple, but touching poem. if its true, then im very sorry for your brother, but if he was anything like me, he didnt do it because he was mad at anyone or hurt by anyone and if he were still here, he probably wouldnt be able to explain why he did it.
o0oAnnie 2005-02-15 ch 1,	abuseAll I have to say is...wow...this was on chilling and powerful poem...sad and disturbing, especially how you used "and he freaks...like he didn't...do it to himself"...great poem..keep writing!
orbicland 2005-02-15 ch 1,	abusehey! poetry!i like the repeated lines of 'like he didn't do it to himself.' also, that the formatting makes it look like it goes in and out, depending on the amount of words on the line. it's hella cool.

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