FictionPress.com - let the words flow
| FictionPress.com - let the words flow |
|
| Home Just In Communities Forums Beta Readers Dictionary Search | Login Register Extras |
| Morbid Maxwell 2005-04-25 ch 1,   | Oh...poor Adam... (Hugs him) It's okay...I won't bite...too hard...XD Morbid Maxwell- "Coming up you butt-raping Nazi." |
| Dying Without Gackt 2005-03-09 ch 4, | You know what I just noticed that I hadn't before. This is a lot different then your other writing styles. Or at least I think - I like it though, very mysterious. Hope you update soon - and if its not to much of me to ask - Whenever you have time can you read some more Dusman - I just need some more reviews. I really need to get back on that story >_ |
| Dying Without Gackt 2005-02-24 ch 3, | Nope I understand everything perfectly! Please do continue! |
| Ed the Roach 2005-02-24 ch 2, | The dialogue was great, especially the amber girl's dialogue. Only this did I have critism for: "'You know what? Forget it!' he yelled and began to walk away." I found this to be a bit weak. I see a great potential in this story. If Adam is causing these deaths somehow (even if it isn't his fault) I assume he'd feel extremely guilty, not only for the deaths but for the pain of his brothers. Everyone likes a tortured character! (at least, I do) :P |
| Ed the Roach 2005-02-24 ch 1, | "He simply figured they’d come to get him when everyone was done being sad." That was a powerful line to me. It's so reflective of what a child would think (or what I assume they'd think). The only critism I have to offer: when you say days, weeks, months and even years passed by...it feels like the reader is on a roller coaster. Like suddenly out of no where we've plummeted too far out of the scene. I just think there should be a transision (can't spell) though I don't know what to suggest. Still, it captivates my interest...especially the girl with amber eyes. |
| Dying Without Gackt 2005-02-23 ch 2, | OH SUCH A PRETTY NAME! Loved the chapter - hope u update soon. |
| shesuniversal 2005-02-21 ch 1, | m cool. I do think you need a little bit more between the funeral bit and the "as he grew older he understood" bit. But it sounds like it will be awesome!! Now finish it. Also, I uploaded something. So read it. |
| Dying Without Gackt 2005-02-21 ch 1, | Hm that was interesting! I liked it - i like how everything tied in. Please update soon. |
| Eldee 2005-02-19 ch 1, | It is different, like an original different. I wasn't quite sure how old Adam was when this happened though... *Matiz* |