Good imagery with the words and how the rhythm gets faster and faster as the lines get shorter - also creates an interesting visual effect. I don't quite understand the title, though. And I think that the last word "Bleak" really catches you off guard at the end - but it adds to it.

I need to stop reviewing your stuff, I'm no longer being critical, it's all just "oh you're so good". Bad. Must stop this now.

-Jesse
Fear the review marathon! (link in profile)

Good poem.

~Twilight Starr~

I think its creative. =D I like how the lines get shorter, it caught my attention. Keep up the good work, I'll R&R some of your other stuffs.

Cool format and good poem. It seems so peaceful until you hit the last two lines. Good job!

to the sound of time immemorial- wonderful. I like how it gets smaller in formatting. good work, again.

Powerful. OK, not a very constructive review, but I'm not a poet anyway. :)

Loved the first line: "time immemorial" is one of my favorite phrases.

wow! simple yet powerful.what inspired this?