i really like this it is just a little sticky in some parts and i found a few grammar mistakes. i really really like the wording and the idea behind it. i think the ending could have been a little more dramatic, and i encourage u to play with something like "its constant noon in this world of then now and soon, and this wretched heart of mine refuses to set" i really dont know but that would be more dramatic. im sorry im in a critical mood, i really do like this tho and would love to see it just that little bit better. hehe ok then good job.

First of all, *grin*, yay for Nightmare Before Christmas (my obsession)!

This poem, from it's first word, reminded me of Jack's Lament ("Oh, somehwere deep inside of these bones..."), so in my head the music for that song played while I read the words.

The imagery worked well in most parts. The one that actually made me smile was "To the edge did I crawl", since you do remind me of Jack. It's the thrill of that little sinister look on Jack's face and his long legs and fingers crawling like spiders.

Ooh.. Jack's Lament... Noah's Lament!

The italics, I presume, you used to put stresses on some of the words(obviously)... but it worked exceptionally well with the music playing in my head.

The last six lines, keeping in mind the power of the last three in particular, were very striking. (But is the last line supposed to repeat 'only'?) Once again, singing it like the song.

It's deeply felt. The feeling that Nightmare creates, is the feeling you have captured, twisting and refining it with bits of you in it. But now you have completely distracted me from writing a good review for you! Gah! Oh well. You'll understand. Nightmare never gets old!

Good job! Must go watch Nightmare again *twitch*...

-Sarah

Fresh...new... It seems quite simplistic through the first read. And I still hold that it's not as bloody or complex vocabulary-wise or in ideas as your other poems, which I rather like. Creativity breeds variety and no one can say you're not creative. Girl and World? Either way, it's got an okay rhythm and since I never saw Nightmare Before Christmas I'm not quite if this lives up to the scary vibe throughout that movie. (?) I rather like imagery of you crawlin' the edge and your heart, desires holding you back from following. It's remarkably vivid.Kudos.

Izzy J.