i'm sorry i'm a little late... ok... i'm sorry i'm REALLY late. i'm just been neglecting FP for ever, and for that i apologize.

great poem though, Abunai, this poem is aweseome. I love the figurative style and the analogies. It's great. excellent work!

hm... every two lines rhyme... XDit made me read it faster after every line, expecting the rhyme at the end.

in the second line... 'ceasless' ought to be spelt 'ceaseless' if i'm not very much mistaken.

about the poem itself, it made me feel the pain.. or imagine it almost vividly...

Heartwrenching... The choice of ending words was brilliant... they made the rhyme so much better sounding and you know that the words were well chose and not only stuffed there for the rhyming... so that was neat. Let's hope you don't often have days like these. *hugs*