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| Abdul Alhazred - John Brewe... 2007-09-20 ch 1,  | abuseThe flight of the bumblebee comes to mind All dropping and soaring I've never before thought of its thoughts as it dips and swerves before though, much less the aimless butterflies. Wow. I loved flutter, flutter, flutter... I love the crescendo opening scene and the decrescendo finale it lends to the poem. Almost like a fade out on a screen Very neat and concise piece very tight writing. Again, Wow. The brevity in the lines allows the reader to interject their own butterfly story while still following your lead. Very, very well done. |
| behind the velvet curtain 2005-02-28 ch 1, | abuseLike I said, you're good. It's cool, I like the butterfly metaphor. I love metaphors... I'd like to see something with a more positive outlook. You'd probably do really well with something like that... Either way, you're good though. |
| BasilPoisoning 2005-02-22 ch 1, | abuse... okays |