Well... Sian, your doing my teaching proud by the sounds of things! You know who this is! I'm going to start by saying that your ideas are imaginative, but a little um... how to word...uneven shall we say? Try not to use so many short sentences which can make moments sound to quick. Also, I like all the characters, but you dance around what they truely feel a little- stick to their personalitys and inform the reader through your first person narritive how they all feel. It gives the readers who like the submain characters more a little speculation into their characters. Loving the story tho, your doing well and i'm not being nasty by saying all this i just think you can reach your full potential that way! So keep going! :D

Sian you are the most disturbed person I know, except for me of course! This chapter is really... creepy but totally rox me sox!! Update soon!

Damn it girl! This still reminds me of LotR lol! I love this, I love Orion, he is so cute. Yes! I know what happens in the next chapter so you better put it up quick or I will yell at you!

Wow, another awesome chapter, well done! I love the part where the puppy stumbled over things as it walked--really vivid. Keep up the good work!

Wicked chapter Sian! Poor... who ever is telling the story! I hope the villagers are alright! Aw... look at the cute little puppy (Mikki's probably planning how to kill it by the way!) If you need a name for it how about something like Dawdler or Drifter? Update soon please!

Amazing! I can't wait for your next update; this chapter was especially gripping. And the last sentence about the village makes me want to know more. Keep up the good work!

Wicked chapter Sian, love it. Very creepy and all that stuuf. Yep, I've lost it, this is what u get when I try to review and wtch Dawn French at the same time! Update soon - this is a really cool story idea so far!

Wicked prologue! Sounds slightly subdued but hell, it rox that way!! Update soon!

Wow! Great prologue! I am really going to make sure I keep an eye out for it in the future!

By the way, can anyone please read a story I have on the site. It's called The Pocketwatch. Please read and review. I am so desperate. Thank you!

wonderfull though the whole thing has a sort of moditone feel to it ( that is just me and i could be wrong) i hate to do this myself because its a waste of time but try adding different punctuation(cant spell) so the reader can see the emotion as well as hear it.

live on the EDGE...

Ooh is this a diary story? These are awesome, keep going!