The rhymes and rhythm and the short lines accentuate powerfully the sad and touching message of this poem. Really well written.

hmm... you know, you should try saftey pins, they leave smaller marks... very deep. very good. KEEP UP ZEE GOOD WORK!

Very powerful. Love it. )

Eternal Seraph

this flows so well i realy like the way you put it together with the short lines and even rymes etc it realy drives its point home, lovely