This was okay, not a favorite of mine though. You seemed way too personal with it, especailly by adding the word "we" in there. Simple and elegant is the way of the tanka.

Keep writing.

-Seras

Thought-provoking.

Truth is harsh.

Dreamy and whimsical. It is like the lightheartedness of a child.

The hamster comparison is perfect. That state between sleep and consciousness is often blurred and distant as if a dream.

I like the contrast of Brilliance and then death in the same line.

The humid feel you add to it truly brings this together.

Ah, splendid. Time is always slow when it comes to a long day. :)

The chaos of the mind. How true.

Night is a gentle quiet, and can also be an irreparable evil. Ever read Night?

Blinded to life? Lovely.

Interesting how something as sweet and good as chocolate on a sundae can represent the likeness of death. Fascinating

Proves that words hurt and not just those stones, sticks...

You are a poet! So elegant and gentle in your stirrings of the human passion.

Seen but not awknowledged. Horrible experience.