The foreword makes this poem better, but I loved the rhyming couplet at the end seperated from everything else. I would add you to my favorite authors list 100 times if I could, haha.

This is yet another very interesting poem.I like your style of writing so much.It's so intriguing.This is very good.I like most especially because unlike you I did get run over by a person going well over 80 mph and ended up in the hospital.Another great poem. Keep up the good work.

This is very well thought out, and in rhyming iambic pentameter, too! That's seriously clever stuff.

In '(Fate

alone carved this wilderness for me inbone.)' I'd probably have had 'fate' in the same stanza as 'alone carved this wilderness for me in bone', but then I appreciate how it would be difficult to do that without destroying the metre of the rest of it.

I really like:

I must reach my destiny transparent.

But sadly, loneliness walks apparent.

Some lovely profound thoughts there. Keep it up!

Hmm...this was a little over my head...but it reminded me of a certain type of instrumental music...I can't put my finger on what it's called. But it's sort of soft an light...not jazz...no, not swing...I give up. But anyways...

I liked the last line. I think that the last line of a piece of poetry is what determines whether it's poetry or not. If it has that unexpected lift. And this is definitely poetry--not only because of the last line, but also the second-to-last line.

I liked this. Great imagery.

Nice.

Later,

-paige :)

wonderful job. painted dark pictures of solitude in my mind.

beautiful

Oh this is so beautiful! You write really well and the topic you choose is very interesting. Well done keep writing!