|Reviews for Angel's Wings|
| Lauderdale 1/16/06 . chapter 7
Oh ... Time travel! _
It's funny because when I'm reading this story I find myself thinking about other books and movies that I can relate it to. Which is kind of a good thing because they're books and movies that I love. Like, when they go back in time and can't let themselves be seen I think of Harry Potter. And the stuff with poachers reminds me of The Rescuers Down Under. And the setting and all the animals reminds me of Fern Gully. Yup; maybe I'm just being weird. But that's part of why I like this story so much.
Anyway. I really loved all the details you're starting to put into these chapters and how you're starting to allow things to grow beyond what you started out with. I don't know if you'd take this as a compliment, but I can totally see this played out in some sort of manga or anime series... Yup... (Okay, keep in mind that I don't read manga or watch anime but I get the general idea.) _
Pacing was a little strange, though. You covered a lot of ground in this chapter. I liked how she got back at the poachers and Erian didn't want to punish them. They just got what they deserved. :)
The discussion over why the villagers keep calling her princess was another nice detail, and the part where she explains that it makes them feel as if they have someone ruling over them.
I thought it was cute when she just tagged the tree and said, "I won!" :) That sounds like something I would do. Hee hee.
The romance scene at the end was sweet. But why did she pull away? *sigh* Poor Neko and her insecurities.
I can't wait to see what else you come up with. I read in your profile about your hiatus and I'm sorry to hear about it. I hope you feel better and continue to update in the future.
And by the way, my apologies in case I don't know how to review anymore. I'm a little rusty. Haven't read any new FictionPress stories in ages.
Take care and keep writing!
| Lauderdale 1/16/06 . chapter 6
"Someone talk before I peck out your eyes!"
Oh, so cute. Karma's starting to grow on me.
I just finished rereading the last five chapters and managed to catch up on things. And now you've updated with something a bit longer! :) It's good to see you start to take your time with things. I'll admit that I didn't pick up on the fact that Neko's tormenter was Erian's grandfather until I read this... I'm not sure if I was supposed to figure that out at the end of the last chapter, but well... *cough* I'm very slow.
So since that little story arc is somewhat complete (I thought that Erian's grandfather would still be alive and go after them as the villain) now I'm wondering what's left to carry this piece on. Actually, there's a lot of things...
Yay! Finally, Erian is explained. Er, sort of. At least now I know that he was knocked out by poachers. Basically.
Right. And the things that are still left would be:
1.) Why did Erian go to the forest in the first place?
2.) What are those dratted poachers up to?
3.) Will both Neko and Erian's pasts hold any significance for the rest of the story, or was that finished?
4.) What exactly is Neko doing at the end of this chapter when she and Erian leave?
Alrighty. Onto the next chapter! *charges*
| Wyvernwings 11/9/05 . chapter 2
This is really good so far!Your charaters are veary intresting, it gave me a kinda jungle book meets anime fealing in the first chappter but mellowed out into an entirly orriginal sounding story in this chapter. I can't wait to read up on the rest.
| Lauderdale 9/8/05 . chapter 5
Yay! You're back! Sorry it took me so long to get to this last chapter. Yup. I think I'll have to read the other four, too, to refresh my memory. But please don't go off on another vacation! People are finally starting to update now. *leaps with joy* Gah, I'm weird.
Aww poor Neko! Having bad dreams. Hey, have you seen Nightmare on Elm Street? 'Cause that's sort of what I was comparing it to. A little. If you don't get it, then just ignore me. xP But yeah. Karma seems like a good friend; that's one smart bird. :)
It was exciting. Kind of scary. Felt really bad for Neko's family and what that guy did to her and her friends. :( You created a really evil character! So, what, is her captor (ex-captor) still alive?
Yup you still didn't explain Erian.
Next chapter please!
| Lauderdale 4/8/05 . chapter 4
These chapters are a little short. It's not that there isn't enough plot to them or anything ... I think you're lacking detail. Or descriptions of how people feel. So far chapter three was best at that, because you went through what both Neko and Erian were thinking.
I love the little conversation between Karma and Erian. And when Erian talks about what he thinks about humans. Too funny.
Yay, you're finally writing a lot of background info on their characters ... their origins and all that. It's cool. Cleared up some questions I had about who they are and what they can do. Both Neko and Erian's parents sound interesting as well.
It's sweet how he likes seeing her in her human form.
Yeah ... Well, you're building these characters, now, I think you have to also learn how to mix that in with the plot. Because you haven't mentioned Neko's strange dream since chapter one, and, yet again, you haven't explained why Erian was introduced as a bloody, injured mess! Hee hee.
| Lauderdale 4/8/05 . chapter 3
Oh ... so Neko's attracted to Erian. Right, this is labeled under 'Romance', I just noticed that ... How cute! And you wrote: "Anyone close to her always ended up dead, either of age, disease, or murder ..." Does that mean that she lives a lot longer than humans? I'm still trying to figure out the whole history to her character, because it's kind of fascinating. ... Again, loving the setting. I know I'm kind of repetitive, but that whole thing with her storing things behind the waterfall is great.
Heh. Erian's not human either. That actually kind of surprised me a little. And you still haven't explained why she found him all injured.
Oh, Karma's getting nosy! Haha. Wonder what she's going to do?
| Lauderdale 4/8/05 . chapter 2
Neko's turning out to be a really interesting character. Did you say half jaguar and half angel? It's cool how she travels and all. Hmm ... I like a lot of these ideas you have, but some things could use a little work. I already mentioned dialogue ... Try to make their conversation flow a little better. Right now, whenever a character speaks, it sounds ... unnatural, or fake.
Great. I've learned the Japanese word for 'cat'. Lol ...
It's nice to know that Neko has a sense of humor. So she's guardian of the jungle ... I wonder what else she's done to bad people who have crossed her part of the Amazon. _
Urgh ... What exactly happened to Erian? You said he was lying in a pool of blood ... Well I'm sure I'll find out in the next chapter.
| Lauderdale 4/8/05 . chapter 1
Finally, some story set in the jungle. Or maybe partially set in the jungle, I don't really know yet. The opening grabbed my attention; it was a very brutal way to start a story. I like little character details you put in such as the guy's tattoos. So early into this, I don't really know what advice to give as far as the plot goes. But for now I can tell you that you need to make paragraphs longer ... don't put in paragraph breaks every two sentences. Also work on dialogue ... conversation is hard to pin down, but you have to work at it.
Again, good start. I love the setting and the concept. I'll read more about Neko and her jungle friends.