there seems to b much ado about the rhyming scheme, which i will explain. at the time i couldnt remember shakespeare's rhyming scheme, so i tried to do something, but it didnt quite work out right. i followed a new rhyme scheme of a,a,b,c,b,c,d,e,d,e,f,g,f,g,h,hsorry for any confusion due to my error

there seems to b much ado about the rhyming scheme, which i will explain. at the time i couldnt remember shakespeare's rhyming scheme, so i tried to do something, but it didnt quite work out right. i followed a new rhyme scheme of a,a,b,c,b,c,d,e,d,e,f,g,f,g,h,hsorry for any confusion due to my error

The first half did not seem to flow and there did not seem to be a pattern with the rhyming. Now that I'm done with the criticism, I loved the poem. The imagery was great.

hm. the rhyming isn't reqally my style but you pull it off with seeming ease. nice work! it has a great rhythm to it. dark.

Wow... that was an amazing poem. I really like the rhyme scheme and all the great language and description. Great job!