FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| Bloody Doll 2005-04-22 ch 1,   | Love poems are special. This is very delicate. Thanks for the review. |
| simpleplan13 2005-03-13 ch 1, | its so true and beautifully written |
| Pontifax 2005-03-04 ch 1, | You did a good job putting the feelings of the speaker into the poetic form. In the first few lines you have the same vowel sound going on repeatedly, which is a very good thing. Your arrangement of lines is an odd one, but I think it actually lends itself to strengthening the message behind the poem. Since when is love neatly mapped out? Never, that I've seen. The seeming jumble of the lines furthers your cause here. One final note, be wary of using "butterfly kisses" as it's an overused cliche and actually detracts from the overall effectiveness of your poem. Consider removing it. All in all a job well done! |