FictionPress.com - let the words flow
| FictionPress.com - let the words flow |
|
| Home Just In Communities Forums Beta Readers Dictionary Search | Login Register Extras |
| SilentRiver 2005-03-04 ch 1,   | Oh, la, pretty poem!DragonP.S. I really liked it! |
| Pontifax 2005-03-04 ch 1, | First off, consider editing your format a bit. There seems to be no clear stanza break at all; it got a bit disjointed. As for grammatical errors, let me help you a bit. "Fingertips" is one word, not two. "All knowing and all powerfull" should be hyphenated, e.g. "all-knowing". "Powerful" only has one 'l'. It should be "consistency". There are some other minor punctuation discrepancies, but it's poetry so I'll give you the benefit of the doubt. On the positive side, I think you've written a beautiful piece here. Grammatical errors aside, the feeling being portrayed in this poem is extremely evocative and sensuous. My favorite line is "She looks like the rain when it pours down in the lightning and thunder." Very nice. A goodly poem. Keep it up. :) |
| Attempted Happiness 2005-03-04 ch 1, | That's really good. I would love to have a boy think of me that way. You wrote that very beautifully. |