FictionPress.com - let the words flow
| FictionPress.com - let the words flow |
|
| Home Just In Communities Forums Beta Readers Dictionary Search | Login Register Extras |
| murasaki09 2006-07-14 ch 4,   | oh my... how similar we are to each other... i've just recently added a new short story to my already posted works and i was rereading all of them... there, i saw your name and i clicked it... it lead me to your anthology... the first chapter impressed me... it was written in a way that made me first blink a few times and then smile a genuine smile... i haven't done that for ages, you see... and then i checked out all other chapters... and all i can say to them is that you aren't the only one who dreads the times you spend with your family... with your mom... with the strangers you see everyday... it's a curse we just have to accept...by the way, i loved the last line in your fourth chapter (the poem for you family)... i couldn't have done any better... |
| Rosemarykiss 2005-10-10 ch 5, | Thanks for reviewing for me, also your anthology is really good and I hope you keep updating it;) |
| geegi 2005-03-04 ch 1, | very nice. I can undertand how science can be very boring. it seems to be when everyone writes. lolkeep writing. geegi |
| Pontifax 2005-03-04 ch 1, | First off, pout-y should be 'pouty'. Second, ice isn't really 'slate gray'...just make sure you really know what color that is. Otherwise, though there are some problems with it, you manage to convey, very simply, the sadness this piece is about. My favorite of your turn of phrases is "forlorn hope" in the third line. I think it should be 'hits' not 'his' in the second to last sentence. A good start, mate. |
| TheAngelofhope 2005-03-04 ch 1, | Nice job on this. |