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| Perfectly Paradox 2008-04-30 ch 1,   | I really love the tone of this. I love how you capitalize You throughout the poem. You might want to capitalize the one in line 3. I would also consider capitalizing son in line 14. I like the lines "It makes me want to cry and retch inside." (Retch is such a strong and visual verb.) Also, "You spirit never aged inside me..." has such beautiful connotations. Thank you for writing this. I needed to read this. You might want to read my poem, Tar Blossoms. It also has an underlying theme of those whom abandon religion. |
| ... 2005-03-05 ch 1, | beautiful poem, i can relate. never stop writing and putting your faith into your writing! |