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| Banshee Junior 2007-01-11 ch 1,   | I like 2 things about this: how you connect the idea of excess ('too blue', 'too comforting') to your whole concept of wanting to fly, and the greed that comes along with the 'want' ("if only I could be like a bird/who wishes they were a fish instead") which makes it so impposible to satisfy. Everything is so connected to this poem - I especially love the fish-bird cycle. I want what the bird has, only realizing later that you have what the bird would want ("I can swim so why can't I fly?"). Wonderful. |
| Noir Fleurir 2006-11-14 ch 1, | i liked this poem a lot, good message to get across and you did it pretty well :) |
| Anna Hartford 2005-10-22 ch 1, | This is beautiful... really well written! If you'll allow it, I'd like to print it out and keep a copy... let me know. I love the ending!! Take Care,Anna H x |
| tawnyfawn 2005-07-04 ch 1, | I loved the dreaminess of this poem, and the beginning where everyhting is 'too' something... It's very effective! I also loved thevery end where you say the bird probabaly longs to swim... It's- actually,I don't have the word for it, but it's good! ^^; Actually, I guess the birds that can both fly AND swim would have the best of both worlds... Like kingfishers or whatever! =P Anyway, thankyou for your kind words of my various peices of writing... It's much appriciated! =) from fawny |
| CircusCandy 2005-06-27 ch 1, | the earth does get boring. But it would really suck being a fish...cuz they look wierd. and smell |
| Diascia 2005-03-05 ch 1, | I was inspired by the 8th line. I've always wanted to fly. *sigh* Oh well... *wanders off* |
| Story-Teller's Aide 2005-03-05 ch 1, | wow. That's quite beautiful. It really potrays that sense of desperate want, or pure longing. i'm adding it to my favourites |