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Reviews For: Forbidden Love - Reviews: Page 1 of 15

rosieroo
2008-07-20
ch 5,
abusethis is an awesome story!! but i just wanted to say, that i think she should react more to her aunt dying... the chapter before was good in that, but in this one its like she's forgotten about her!
but seriously, this is a great story
LittleEmoKid
2008-05-25
ch 18,
abuseI know it's a bit late to post this review since you've finsished and all, but some say vampire blood tastes quite good. On a more personal note I think it would be a good idea for you to describe the human's blood. Like maybe Alana's blood tasted like Honey and Milk with a hint of cinnamon or something you know. Humans can also taste Vampire blood. Each vampire and human can have a distinct taste to their blood. Anywho, just a thought love.
naokoangel01
2008-04-24
ch 27,
abuseWow! I loved it
Vampire and vampire slayer it was really funny
I loved the way it turned it out
KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK!
Yumenori
2008-01-20
ch 27,
abuseI agree with you that the story does need a LOT of editing. But I'm still impressed with your grammar and writing, although sometimes your sentences should have ended or had a comma, but kept going instead. Sort of a run-on sentence? Well, don't take this as a bad review, I don't mean for it to be. ):

Hm... you already know of the numerous plot holes, so I won't mention those. And I'm not complaining. Those things are bitches.

All I really have to say is that the story didn't have much thought. Like, it was too much action and the plot moving on with Logan and Alana's romance. Alan wasn't phased so much by her Aunt dying in that horrifying way - and I understand she's had training to deal with that - but she sort of got over it fast.

So my only real, true suggestion that I don't think you've mentioned yet is that you should add on more to the story instead of rushing it. Especially since it's a first-person POV.

I also must pick at the characters... I have to say, they could use some work. The story was somewhat cliche, but it really was just the characters that made it that. They just seemed generic.

God, I'm sorry for picking at your story. D; I really did enjoy it, I did, I'm just trying to help, and you don't have to take my suggestions, and I might be very wrong (as I think I might be because of your many reviewers that I lack).

Any way, you inspired me to write a vampire story of my own, so I think I'll try my hand at it soon. Thank you for the good-read, and I'll read your sequel once (or if it already is) out. So, good job! I congratulate you, especially since you went in and admitted that the story did need some work and you were planning on fixing it all up. ;D Mad love, Authoress.
RoseLife
2007-09-30
ch 27,
abuseI LOVED IT!
Has to be one of the best vampire stories i have read! XD
Lol! but the plot was awsome
and the ending RULED!

haha great job! and hurry up and edit it so the sequel will come!! JUST EDIT IT!! but NO pressure whatso ever -cheesy grin- just take your time! -DO IT- make everything JUST right -DO IT- edit every chappie till your heart cant take it no more -HURRY UP AND DO IT- fix every little detail that has been nagging you -OR ELSE!-

haha i'll stop now! but great job! loved it to pieces XD

~RL~
X-Romantic-X
2007-08-01
ch 1,
abuseThat was really good, i love vampire romance , there the best type of storie and i love the whole forbidden love thing.
Black and White Dreams
2007-07-19
ch 11,
abusehaha! i was right! it was the King =]
i would love for logan to stop being an ass and alana to stop being a bitch
and for them to just get along for five minutes
without sarcasm or death threats or steaks or any of that stuff.
it would make me a happy person.
=]
Black and White Dreams
2007-07-19
ch 10,
abuseLogan... is starting to scare me a tiny bit... and i'm gonna take a wild guess, but i think that the guy in alana's bed is the King himself? well, i'll read the next chapter and find out!
Black and White Dreams
2007-07-19
ch 9,
abusehehehe i'm loving this! i do wish Logan had told her what he did to Paul... i'm curious about that...
Black and White Dreams
2007-07-19
ch 8,
abusewhoa...
wow... jeeze...
thats sorta harsh... she admits to having feelings for him and he just vanishes like that?! your writing is so hot >.< lol i had to say it, i mean... good job describing the kiss lol
Black and White Dreams
2007-07-19
ch 7,
abuseI love Logan, I really do =] I dunno why... i mean, he is extremely confusing, and he pisses me off, but there's just something about him that I really like. Anyway, I'm late on reading this, what was the title before? I'm just curious.
Black and White Dreams
2007-07-19
ch 6,
abusewell that was totally unexpected... a ring? you never even mentioned it before, unless i missed something... that sort of felt like a spur of the moment idea to me. it was just so sudden. but i'm curious about it, so, on to the next chapter!
Black and White Dreams
2007-07-19
ch 5,
abusedamn... this feels like one of those love/hate situations... but i totally agree with kAIT REDFERN. i love Logan, but he is very strange and very, very confusing...
Black and White Dreams
2007-07-19
ch 4,
abuse0.0 whoa... dude thats so not cool. hes all nice and stuff to alana, healing her and carrying her so she doesnt have to drag herslef home... and then he brings her to this place only to see her aunts dead body! its cruel... =[
Black and White Dreams
2007-07-19
ch 3,
abusei like the twist in this a lot. it made feel sort of sad knowing that logan was turned and it wasnt by nature that he was a vampire. but, good chapter.
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