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| FireDragonBL 2005-03-06 ch 2,   | j0, i'd be willing to help out ^_^just email me-BLand can u R&R my fic? it called eternal strife |
| FireDragonBL 2005-03-06 ch 1, | sick! another good vampire fic ^_^-BL |
| deletedeleted 2005-03-06 ch 1, | Cliche, and not all that descriptive. “'Who in the nine hells are you?'" Even if it is for emphasis, or to express outrage, one should never use three question marks. One is fine. "When no response was forthcoming, Tara went on, 'I was sent from a group as an envoy. I believe we are known as Hekate’s Faithful to outsiders-'" Why do you have a new paragraph there? I noticed you do that quite a few times with dialogue... It should read: When no response was forthcoming, Tara went on. “I was sent from a group as an envoy. I believe we are known as Hekate’s Faithful to outsiders-” Overall, I found this to be to predictable for my tastes. Nontheless, don't let that discourage you at all. This has potential, so just keep working at it! :D |
| Nellow 2005-03-06 ch 1, | Great job! I can't wait till there are furture chapters! |