FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| PoliticsMan101 2005-03-09 ch 1,   | omg, ok...i've seen some imature poems on this internet, but yours is not one of them as some reviewers think. I don't like Bush either. Your expressing your thoughts but you really need to write something close to a political poem. Not your inner thoughts, ok? Otherwise good work! |
| ska-and-poetry 2005-03-09 ch 1, | Yeesh. Um... Ok. I'm going to try and be as kind with this as possible (and hope this is just a troll account or something).I don't like Bush either. But you need to find two little things called reasoning and support and inject them straight into this poem. Hell, straight into yourself. This work is silly, imature, and childish at best, and even then it's a rather poor showing. You have no grasp of the concepts of meter or rhythm. Get one. You also need to stop trying so hard to rhyme. It sounds much better if you can make a non-rhyming poem sound relaxed and natural than if a rhyming poem sounds forced and awkward. My advice? Trash this poem and start anew once you've at least mastered support, reasoning, and rhythm. Keep trying. |
| bookworm713 2005-03-08 ch 1, | OK, someone has to say it - you need some desperate grammar and punctuation help. Other than that, good poem. |
| Kyp, Prince of the Twice De... 2005-03-07 ch 1, | "I think Bush is really mean""I'll bury them in the sand" What was the point? You don't like Bush. Any valid reasons why, and if you have some, why were they not included in the poem? |
| Noir Fleurir 2005-03-07 ch 1, | i bet you he'll bomb it and say it was cuz of irac |