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| Eyes Unclouded 2005-06-14 ch 1,   | Love the loose, easy rhyming scheme; it seems simple, but at the same time it's so pretty. The last stanza was the best; certain words were really well-placed (such as the "just" in the final line). I think this is one of those subjects in which the writing could easily turn out cliche, but thank God you avoided that! ::applauds:: Great job! |
| addie pray 2005-03-23 ch 1, | Beautiful, well written. Familiar subject, and the whole of this was strengthened by the ending, which I love --the last stanza is just amazing--Well done. |
| Kohikari 2005-03-14 ch 1, | Oh my god. *jaw drops* "...But the brokenness is beautiful-/The pieces on the floor,/As they glitter like a million flames..." This is FANTASTIC. It's amazing, and so true! I can really feel the emotion, see the imagery. Out of ten, this would be an 11. *gawps* You should publish this! I'm dead certain it would get an award. Keep writing! --Kohikari* |
| TheAngelofhope 2005-03-07 ch 1, | Really like this one. Keep up the good work. |