FictionPress.com - let the words flow
| FictionPress.com - let the words flow |
|
| Home Just In Communities Forums Beta Readers Dictionary Search | Login Register Extras |
| from beneath the bell jar 2007-02-12 ch 1,  | abuseI love your style: a combination of lovely and tragic, and it reminds me of Sylvia Plath and the British. My fav line was "when Mary sees him with his guys she shoots him down with Uzi eyes". |
| laughter at the funeral 2005-09-13 ch 1, | abusehm...this is really nice...the rhymes and the rhythm are gorgeous...although, there is something contradictory here and its quite bothering me...you said that mary doesn't want a bloody mess but why did she opt for bleeding all over the place in the end?...oh and pls, if you have the time, pls do review some of my poems...thanks... truly yours... |
| breakdown in the waiting ro... 2005-08-22 ch 1, | abuseSo.true. ending. Love the rhyme; you handle it quite well. Again, would be a mind-blowing punk song. -jess |
| in tesseraction 2005-07-30 ch 1, | abusei love how you switch between prose and rhyme; her thoughts and narration. the ending really catches one's attention. this is delicious. |
| addie pray 2005-05-01 ch 1, | abuseFantastic. Everything in this works well. I adore. |
| pneumothorax 2005-04-25 ch 1, | abuseThis read best of what I've read of yours so far. I like how it's 'normal' rather than stuck up **. "but she has acrophobiaand besides she'd make a bloody mess)" |
| Sarah-Brighteyes 2005-04-24 ch 1, | abuseYou did well though with the rhyme and it didnt make me cringe. Another well written piece, another one that made me smile and think about death in my own little way. Everyone thinks about suicide, few go through with it...and I think you showed that here. Another good one. |
| zoogath 2005-04-16 ch 1, anon. | abusehow morbid! i liked it. go jump from the rooftop! it's better to go out with a bang.byee. |
| Nobody-n-Particular 2005-04-04 ch 1, | abuseExcellent. I enjoy the way it expresses emotion and pain in this nonchalant way. The style is different and refreshing. |
| Ohmm 2005-03-30 ch 1, | abuseYou might contemplate rhyme and death rarely, but you contemplate them oh-so-well. This leaves a truly lingering creepy erm. feeling. Great word play on the bloody mary btw! |
| lostontheroof 2005-03-28 ch 1, | abuseWow. It's so..cynical but still very pretty. The rhyme was graceful enough not to be distracting, a hard feat indeed. Wonderful as always. By the way, your author's note made me giggle. |
| poetic abortion 2005-03-26 ch 1, | abuseThis was just so creepy to read. The whole poem flowed well and the format was eye cetching and unique. ^-^ I really liked this. *adds to favs.* I loved it, you sent a chill down my spine with your words. Beautiful poem. I never would have come up with something like this. =) !~* Noelle *~! |
| cheeseworth 2005-03-24 ch 1, | abuseI thought the subject matter was creepy but you carried it off well. Format's spiffy too! Haha okay bye. |
| Chi Ame 2005-03-23 ch 1, | abuseWow... this reminded me. at first, of Bloody Mary from Twisted Metal: Black, the game. Anyway, this is very original. I love how it ends with that realization. And the parenthesized stanzas added a lot to it, and helps keep your interest. Great job! |
| Manuel Fajar 2005-03-17 ch 1, | abuseher neck cut off at the 3rd joint, the king wanted to make a point, that his own queen he would anoint, his archbishop he did appoint, just like he minted his own coin, came royal children from his groin, no other kindgoms did adjoin, but never title would purloin. |