I love your style: a combination of lovely and tragic, and it reminds me of Sylvia Plath and the British. My fav line was "when Mary sees him with his guys she shoots him down with Uzi eyes".

hm...this is really nice...the rhymes and the rhythm are gorgeous...although, there is something contradictory here and its quite bothering me...you said that mary doesn't want a bloody mess but why did she opt for bleeding all over the place in the end?...oh and pls, if you have the time, pls do review some of my poems...thanks...

truly yours...

So.true. ending. Love the rhyme; you handle it quite well. Again, would be a mind-blowing punk song. -jess

i love how you switch between prose and rhyme; her thoughts and narration. the ending really catches one's attention. this is delicious.

Fantastic. Everything in this works well. I adore.

This read best of what I've read of yours so far.

I like how it's 'normal' rather than stuck up **.

"but she has acrophobiaand besides she'd make a bloody mess)"

You did well though with the rhyme and it didnt make me cringe. Another well written piece, another one that made me smile and think about death in my own little way. Everyone thinks about suicide, few go through with it...and I think you showed that here. Another good one.

how morbid! i liked it. go jump from the rooftop! it's better to go out with a bang.byee.

Excellent. I enjoy the way it expresses emotion and pain in this nonchalant way. The style is different and refreshing.

You might contemplate rhyme and death rarely, but you contemplate them oh-so-well. This leaves a truly lingering creepy erm. feeling. Great word play on the bloody mary btw!

Wow. It's so..cynical but still very pretty. The rhyme was graceful enough not to be distracting, a hard feat indeed. Wonderful as always.

By the way, your author's note made me giggle.

This was just so creepy to read. The whole poem flowed well and the format was eye cetching and unique. ^-^ I really liked this. *adds to favs.* I loved it, you sent a chill down my spine with your words. Beautiful poem. I never would have come up with something like this. =)

!~* Noelle *~!

I thought the subject matter was creepy but you carried it off well. Format's spiffy too! Haha okay bye.

Wow... this reminded me. at first, of Bloody Mary from Twisted Metal: Black, the game. Anyway, this is very original. I love how it ends with that realization. And the parenthesized stanzas added a lot to it, and helps keep your interest. Great job!

her neck cut off at the 3rd joint,

the king wanted to make a point,

that his own queen he would anoint,

his archbishop he did appoint,

just like he minted his own coin,

came royal children from his groin,

no other kindgoms did adjoin,

but never title would purloin.