This story is very sweet and pretty, both in terms of content language. Which I'm guessing was your aim in writing this chapter. I don't think I could relate to it, though. Is this supposed to be a one-off?

wow... inspired by u'r beautiful descriptionz! truly amazin! u'r a REALLI good writer! keep updatin! i want to see how dis stori goez...

it's VERY intrigin! :)

this was pretty good, but i dont understand, is this a prologue? and introduction, put that up, and it will make better sense. i'll be waiting for your next chapter. kepp it up.

a truly sweet and innocent story. i love the descriptions in this, like:

" I took tiny steps closer to him and my velvet dress bounced around my naked legs. The room seemed brighter somehow, even though the last candles were burning low, their flames casting unfamiliar shadows on the deep blue walls."

keep up the good work ^_^ -kwazykandypie AKA Kelly Ann-