Reviews for Twilight of the Wolves

Reviews For: Twilight of the Wolves

LiNdSaY.AP 2006-09-01 ch 8,	i do like! i only wish you'd expand on the chapters, make them longer. you've got a GREAT style, keep it up!
Remnants 2005-05-02 ch 6,	hey great chapter! have no complaints this time. i didnt even relize it was updated so far. but really great.(ps: havent seen you in a while)
Remnants 2005-03-10 ch 5,	whoa this chapter was confusing. i didnt notice that it wasnt a continuation of chp. 4 until i was half way through. speeking of chapter 4... how exactly did her power help her get to the portal, i didnt really catch the explination. email me please.
Remnants 2005-03-10 ch 3,	this was a nice chapter, but i think you could of been more discriptive. for instance, when the demon is coming out of the portal, i would of liked to known how the portal opened and how the demon looked. but still cool...
Remnants 2005-03-10 ch 2,	i got to say. i like how your chapters are short. it makes it easier to read and stop if you have to. im liking the story so far. my favorite line is "you catch more bees with honey..." thats cool. iv'e never heard it before
Lost Chi 2005-03-08 ch 1,	Great first chapter! I am really going to make sure I keep an eye out for it in the future! You really have quite a writing talent. By the way, can anyone please read a story I have on the site. It's called The Pocketwatch. Please read and review. Thank you very much!
Tallus 2005-03-08 ch 3,	Hey, you know me! And...nice name in there, "Jason Leupold". Nice touch, I think. ^_^ Anyway, I like it quite a bit. Seems like there's a lot goin' on in there. Be sure to put up more soon!
Narc 2005-03-08 ch 3,	It's hard to give a review on the plot, because you don't seem to be very far into it. I do have a suggestion about the beginning. The dream sequence is pretty good, but your introduction to your main character is slow-moving and does nothing to further the plot. The entire first bit can be replaced by something along the lines of 'She was walking home from a dog show that her mother had forced her to volunteer at ... ' and mention any pertinent points. Making the dog show it's own scene risks losing your reader.
E. C. Doyal 2005-03-08 ch 1,	This is an interesting scene, but I'm wondering if it's part of a larger work. I don't get a sense of exactly what's happening after the moment of sacrifice is the reason I ask. It's a good image you've created, though. My one suggestion is to take it from the passive tense and put it in the active tense; in other words, get rid of your "was" and "were" and such. It'll pull your reader more into the moment, make it more powerful. Good start, though, keep writing!
Remnants 2005-03-08 ch 1,	i have yet to relize the meaning for the title and the genre, but im guessing it gets clear as the story progresses. but man this waas cool to read. i could see everything as if it were really happening.
Arandell 2005-03-08 ch 1,	Very nice. You have used excellent word choice, and the idea is extremely well-thought of. Although, it still is rather short. I suggest you make the first chapter a bit longer, and that might entice readers to read further. Other than the length, however, very nice job!
Noir Fleurir 2005-03-08 ch 1,	i like this story idea it's cool

Return to Top