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| artcriticx 2005-03-11 ch 1, | Actually quite ok for your poems, but with the line 'Turning into a big grin' it somehow becomes strange. The 'grin' doesn't fit into the register of a love poem. Also the phrase 'In my light' sounds a bit conceited. |
| dax87434 2005-03-09 ch 1, | that's very sweet and oh yeah nicely written |