not bad. one thing about a haiku is that each line is supposed to be a complete thought. you got the 5-7-5 thing right, though. so yeah. just a thought. *TI*

i had to read it thre times and that is rae for a haku (wle i think ia m abt ont he slep side today0 but anhyow it si brlant, these words cna so eiasl yuopn up the iamgianiton fo the reader and also draw a ltof o iemahty

I like this! very good.Btw is this one of thouse traditainal Japanese poems? I can't think of the name, it's escapeing me